Now, I think it's fair to say that in the UK (or at least my small part of it) the words 'jehovah's witness' have a certain stigma attached to them. For instance, the average english persons response to those two words is to emit a groan, which all English people can sympathise with. It's a groan that means that they have paid you a visit and so you were forced to endure the humiliation of having to hide behind the sofa and pretend you weren't home, whilst they batter down your door with a large copy of The Watchtower.
Now, I don't think Korean people are overly fond of Jehovah's (my korean friend once called them 'crazy'), but Christianity is definitely more popular here that at home and you literally can't turn a corner without seeing a church. At home church groups consist of a few doddering OAP's, who look as though they might be in the graveyard next week instead of sat on the pews, where as church groups here could easily be mistaken for youth clubs. On my trips to the beach last summer I often bumped into huge groups of teenagers on church excursions.
Anyway, me being your standard English girl you can imagine what was going through my head when I discovered that I'm teaching across the hall from a dedicated believer in Jehovah. -_- oh dear.
I should take this opportunity to say that in fact my the teacher is a really, really nice woman: really kind and generous and helpful. In fact, I don't even have a problem with her believing whatever she wants to believe in (even if I do think it's absolute nonsense, sorry! >-<). I can only find a problem when she continues by ramming it down my throat.
The conversations always start with some kind of bribery... 'do you like chocolate milk?' she asked. 'Yeah!' I naively reply ... 'Okay, let's drink it and watch this short video together'. Of course, there was a catch!
So the first video is about the 'spiritually thirsty', 'godless' people of Europe. Any of my friends and family at home reading this, that would be us :D 'I hear that they use church buildings for other uses... like night clubs?!' she asks me in horror. 'Oh yeah, there was one near my university' I say, trying to sound neutral whilst mentally recalling the time I nearly broke my ankle whilst falling off a table in the Leeds nightclub HALO, a converted church, after about 8 sambucas.
So after a few more visits like this, my patience was starting to wear thin. Until finally she knocked on my door today with another delightful video about how all the victims of natural disasters die, because they don't acknowledge the Passover. Drinking wine and bread on a 'special day' makes you immune to earthquakes and tsunamis didn't you know? (I drink LOADS of wine so surely I'm invincable now). So I decided to bite the bullet and tell her that I respect people's right to believe whatever they like, but I don't believe it. And tried to explain the word 'agnostic' to her. Her reply: ’I want you to come to my church and be baptised so you can get salvation'. What?!...hahaha. So apparently, 'I don't believe in Jehovah' translates as 'I MUST get baptised IMMEDIATELY!'. Finding it quite difficult to be polite at this stage so I tell her I've got a few issues with the bible. For one thing I don't think being gay make you a bad person ('being what?' 'gay. G A Y' awkward silence ). Secondly, I don't think women should obey men. After growing up with the strong women from my family the idea of men telling woman what to do seems somewhat ridiculous, and I don't intend to break the tradition. You'd think she'd take the hint, knowing now that I'm a homo-loving, night club going floozy, whose unlikely to obey my husbands orders (that's assuming I take a husband, might just open a brothel in a converted church)... but no... cue the next video:
This one about Jesus coming to visit us in 1940 something. He was a bricklayer in Bolton, didn't you know? It seems knowing the full extent of my sins has just made her more determined in her quest for my salvation. I expect the next post will be written with one hand, the other being handcuffed to a church pew, whilst being exorcised by my co teacher's local priest.
Don't you mean, save your 'seoul'
ReplyDeleteDammit that's a much better pun than mine!
ReplyDelete